Sick of it all...sick of life

I know after what recently happened it's not a great thing for me to say I'm sick of life since many would do anything to get those back that they have lost. I'd gladly trade my life for their's. That way they could live again and I could be gone. I think 18 years is long enough. I'm so sick of being here. Haven't we hurt enough? I'm sick of being here, feeling emotions, dealing with life. I wish it could all just end. I'm so sick of living. I really am. I'm not going to off myself but I just wish I could be gone onstead of numbly moving through this shit. I'd rather just trade my life in for somebody else who wanted ot be here longer. It's such a hassle that I wish my life were done. I don't fear death, I'd probably welcome it. it'd be easier than sitting around here feeling there's nothing left to live for. Is there really? Beacause behind joys there will only be more pain. I'm sick of pian and being let down, sick of seeing others in pain and unable to help them or stop it. I'm sick of seeing good people being disappointed. I'm sick of everything. I just want it all to be over. I don't see the point of struggling any longer, moving any further along. Haven't seen the benefits. I suppose I have felt better after ahwhile but everything will jsut turn to shit shortly enough again. What's the point? I really don't see any, anymore.