Trainwreck

Just chain smoked two cigarette's
sitting here, full of regrets
don't know what i can do
to get outside my own head.
i feel lonely and old
like someone left with no soul
i want to get out somewhere
where i don't feel so exposed.
but i already dug my own grave
in this desolate place
nobody can find me
but i'm the last one to blame
for any mistakes i have made.
i finally made a decision
didn't feel like second guessin'
so i took it and ran with it
now look where i am
further behind than
i ever thought i coulda been.
i want to scream and hide
i have no energy left to cry
cause tears don't fix a thing
i just stay cold and mean.
but baby that's just me.
i can't seem to fix my flaws
i just keep out my claws
and tear anybody apart
who gets close to my heart.
i'm so good at breaking shit
and baby, you were no exception. 
now you were just a passed lesson.
cause i learned that i'm a train wreck
just fucking waiting to happen.
so beware of my kind
cause i will pay you no mind
no matter down you are
i will only kick you down more.
til you've sunk beneath the floorboards.
i laugh at other people's expense
and you were no different.
i tried so hard to warn you
but you ignored all the excuses
and pushed right ahead.
i guess forever does end
and now we're done being friends.
so i go out and steal another
from the one he thought was his lover.
i corrupted everything that
i could get my damn hands on
and the promise of happiness is
something no one should depend on.
i take from everybody and never give back
i keep my guard up waiting to attack.
but please don't leave me
believe me, i need you.
i'm saying it now
cause i'm at rock bottom.
i'm desperate now
that i've been forgotten.
somebody come save me
because i can't save myself.
i told you i'm a mess
and i don't want help.
but i'm a liar and a thief
something i don't want to believe.
but i can deny it longer
as i continue to falter.
come pull the emergency brakes
on this hell bound train
cause i can't stop myself
from becoming insane.