A typical night at a small town bar.
So this night really sums up a typical night at the bar in Ramona.
I was writing a paper when I got a text from my friend to go to the bar. It was Wednesday and Molly's always has $2 beers and goldfish races on Wednesdays. Yes, I said goldfish races. Several times the fish have died and been thrown in the trash can during this and other times some drunk moron will lose, get pissed off, and eat his fish. Welcome to Ramona.
I show up and the girl at the door says "OH MY GOD YOUR BOOBS ARE AMAZING!". Um thank you? I go in and try to find my friends.
Then I see my ex boyfriend there. Yes, it was awkward. I take the draft of my paper to have my friends critique it, drunk or not. I run into a guy I went to high school with. I shove past people to get a beer. Or two. I run into another guy from high school. I see my ex boyfriend leave.
Me and my friends sit around and bullshit for awhile. Then this nasty ass guy kind of pokes my stomach. I turn around.Meanwhile I'm thinking, "Ok you're creepy, do I know you? I know creepy guys but I am SURE that I don't know you".
Then he says, very emphatically, "OH my god I am SO sorry. I thought you were someone else".
I think OK cool, he's not that creepy, he's just dumb. I've made that mistake before. But he continues for about 5 more minutes.
"Dude I am SOOO sorry. I can't believe I did that".
He keeps looking at Ryan who I hoped he would assume was my boyfriend and leave. No luck.
"Dude let me buy you a beer. I am so sorry. Dude what kind of beer do you want?" Ryan tells him. He leaves. The beer never comes.
I look at Ryan. "If that's considered a pick-up tactic, it sucks. If he comes around again just tell him you're with me so he will go away".
Creepy guy goes and hits on some other girl, probably using the same line..."Oh I thought you were someone else".
Me and my friends look over the paper and bullshit some more. Then some lady, who is clearly over 40 but doesn't realize it, practically lays across Travis' lap and says to me "Hi! What's your name?"
I tell her and then I ask if she is so and so's mom. "No I'm not. I'm just crazy." Yes. Yes you are. Then to prove her point she asks "So what's your sign?"
Umm...what? Not only does she NOT realize her age but she also doesn't realize that this ISN'T the 70's anymore. THEN she asks me if Travis is my boyfriend. For those of us that know Travis, this question was more awkward than funny. I wanted to save him and say yes, but thought I would be more entertained to watch him get all uncomfortable as she started hitting on him.
Then Travis got a break as this wanna-be milf and her friend went to go hit on Ryan and some other 20-something year olds. They start stroking their faces, buying them drinks, and other odd things that made me want to order a third beer. After enough time, they finally go away. Or at least far enough away for me to be less annoyed.
I'm about to leave when I run into this guy that I haven't seen in about 7 years. Yep. It's Ramona. We start talking and then me Travis and Tristan kind of stand around for a bit. I don't know why. But we do. Then creepy guy who "thought I was someone else" comes out. Damnit.
He slurs, "Damn how old are you guys...18? How do you even get into a bar?"
Tristan and Travis irritatingly state that they are 22. He looks at me.
"And what are you, 16?"
Idiot. I say, "Yes! Yes! I'm 16 and they let me into the bar. You got a problem with that?"
He looks like he just got slapped and says, "Damn, why you gotta be like that? I was just asking."
I say "Why I 'gotta be like that'? Why do you have to come up and start asking how old we are? What's it to you? You're interrupting the nice conversation we were having with dumb questions."
Then the guy who I haven't seen in 7 years saves the day and talks to me again and creepy guy disappears momentarily. I go to say bye and creepy guy comes back. "So...so you got a boyfriend?" I lie, "Yep!"
He asks where he is. I say he's around and it's none of his concern.
Then he says "Well I'm going to get another beer". Dude, you don't NEED another beer. Where's the beer you promised me earlier? Moron.
Finally I make it to my car with drunken/buzzed Ryan, Travis, and Tristan trailing behind. I offer them a ride but they decide to walk. Good thing because I have to pee really bad but I wouldn't go back into that bar alone to save my life.
I was writing a paper when I got a text from my friend to go to the bar. It was Wednesday and Molly's always has $2 beers and goldfish races on Wednesdays. Yes, I said goldfish races. Several times the fish have died and been thrown in the trash can during this and other times some drunk moron will lose, get pissed off, and eat his fish. Welcome to Ramona.
I show up and the girl at the door says "OH MY GOD YOUR BOOBS ARE AMAZING!". Um thank you? I go in and try to find my friends.
Then I see my ex boyfriend there. Yes, it was awkward. I take the draft of my paper to have my friends critique it, drunk or not. I run into a guy I went to high school with. I shove past people to get a beer. Or two. I run into another guy from high school. I see my ex boyfriend leave.
Me and my friends sit around and bullshit for awhile. Then this nasty ass guy kind of pokes my stomach. I turn around.Meanwhile I'm thinking, "Ok you're creepy, do I know you? I know creepy guys but I am SURE that I don't know you".
Then he says, very emphatically, "OH my god I am SO sorry. I thought you were someone else".
I think OK cool, he's not that creepy, he's just dumb. I've made that mistake before. But he continues for about 5 more minutes.
"Dude I am SOOO sorry. I can't believe I did that".
He keeps looking at Ryan who I hoped he would assume was my boyfriend and leave. No luck.
"Dude let me buy you a beer. I am so sorry. Dude what kind of beer do you want?" Ryan tells him. He leaves. The beer never comes.
I look at Ryan. "If that's considered a pick-up tactic, it sucks. If he comes around again just tell him you're with me so he will go away".
Creepy guy goes and hits on some other girl, probably using the same line..."Oh I thought you were someone else".
Me and my friends look over the paper and bullshit some more. Then some lady, who is clearly over 40 but doesn't realize it, practically lays across Travis' lap and says to me "Hi! What's your name?"
I tell her and then I ask if she is so and so's mom. "No I'm not. I'm just crazy." Yes. Yes you are. Then to prove her point she asks "So what's your sign?"
Umm...what? Not only does she NOT realize her age but she also doesn't realize that this ISN'T the 70's anymore. THEN she asks me if Travis is my boyfriend. For those of us that know Travis, this question was more awkward than funny. I wanted to save him and say yes, but thought I would be more entertained to watch him get all uncomfortable as she started hitting on him.
Then Travis got a break as this wanna-be milf and her friend went to go hit on Ryan and some other 20-something year olds. They start stroking their faces, buying them drinks, and other odd things that made me want to order a third beer. After enough time, they finally go away. Or at least far enough away for me to be less annoyed.
I'm about to leave when I run into this guy that I haven't seen in about 7 years. Yep. It's Ramona. We start talking and then me Travis and Tristan kind of stand around for a bit. I don't know why. But we do. Then creepy guy who "thought I was someone else" comes out. Damnit.
He slurs, "Damn how old are you guys...18? How do you even get into a bar?"
Tristan and Travis irritatingly state that they are 22. He looks at me.
"And what are you, 16?"
Idiot. I say, "Yes! Yes! I'm 16 and they let me into the bar. You got a problem with that?"
He looks like he just got slapped and says, "Damn, why you gotta be like that? I was just asking."
I say "Why I 'gotta be like that'? Why do you have to come up and start asking how old we are? What's it to you? You're interrupting the nice conversation we were having with dumb questions."
Then the guy who I haven't seen in 7 years saves the day and talks to me again and creepy guy disappears momentarily. I go to say bye and creepy guy comes back. "So...so you got a boyfriend?" I lie, "Yep!"
He asks where he is. I say he's around and it's none of his concern.
Then he says "Well I'm going to get another beer". Dude, you don't NEED another beer. Where's the beer you promised me earlier? Moron.
Finally I make it to my car with drunken/buzzed Ryan, Travis, and Tristan trailing behind. I offer them a ride but they decide to walk. Good thing because I have to pee really bad but I wouldn't go back into that bar alone to save my life.
Comments