A Tribute
Today marks the saddening anniversary of the deaths of Scott Meyer and Caryn Nolin. I actually remember writing a blog about it on here. The day it happened, I was at Jimmy's house, just kickin' it with him and Billy. Billy's parents called him freaking out because there was some accident on the 67 and they thought he was involved. Later that night I went to work and people were freaking out about traffic, saying they couldn't get home. I thought nothing of it. I didn't even know anybody died.
The next morning I was at school (Palomar) hanging out with Mark and some of his friends before my classes started. I was just in my usual slump of starting such a big school and getting over Adam dumping me and Eddie leaving for training. I got a text from Jimmy saying he and Mrs. Welch needed to talk to me. I was like "oh crap, what did they find out about me?" thinking I was in trouble. I asked him what it was and he said "It's not something I can say over the phone." I said Ok, fine then, later. Justine was on campus that day and came over, so calm and collected. I told her Jimmy was acting weird and she said "Oh, I know why." I thought, what?! Her and Jimmy never talk. What the heck is going on. And then she told me, plain and simple, "Scotty's dead."
At this point Mark and his friends were still with us and I told them Justine and I needed to be alone. I didn't even make the connection or ask any questions. I just started crying. I didn't even know Scott that well. I was just in shock wondering what happened. I finally calmed down enough to ask her what in the world she was talking about. And then she told me. "Remember that huge accident on 67 yesterday....?" And then she went on to tell me about what happened and Caryn still being alive, but with no brain activity (or something similar to that). I called Jimmy crying, asking him if this was what he was planning on telling me and he said yes. Justine looked exhausted and apparently had found out the night before. But she still made it to school, this being our second or third week in (and attendance being super important). I don't know how she did it. Scott was like her brother and here I was, breaking down in public.
Nobody knows what exactly happened that day, just that Caryn was driving and eventually did something to cause her to over-correct and swerve into traffic.
When she didn't make it through, it left everyone asking a ton of questions and all feeling absolutely heartbroken. I had to go to my last 3 hour class. I was supposed to work that night but I called in, obviously. We also had a yearbook signing at the charter school that night. On my way home, Hunter called me, crying as well, because his girlfriend at the time had just broken up with him after class. I thought, man what a shitty day this is.
I met up with Adam at the charter school after telling him what had happened. We were already broken up, but I needed someone to turn to. He reluctantly let me do so. He took me to Stars and got me some cigarettes. I don't smoke regularly, but he was of age and I needed to do something to try and calm down. People signed my yearbook, and it was like a mini reunion, but I had almost no fun. Jimmy looked out of it too. (We had the yearbook signing late because our yearbooks got to us months late, after we had already graduated). As the night went on, Adam kept getting calls from people (girls) and I knew he had some party to go to or some girl to fuck. I kept saying how I didn't want things to end and he kept saying that there are billions of people in the world, and everyone will find their someone. I was devastated when he left. A terrible attempt to comfort me going badly. I talked to Jimmy instead. I needed someone I could relate to. I ended up going to Jimmy's house and we fell asleep watching movies, on opposite sides of the living room. I just didn't want to be alone in my room, crying myself to sleep.
I have class tomorrow and am still recovering from a wild Sunday night. Justine and I (and others) had a BLAST Sunday night. There was tons of drinks and dancing at her and Sam's new house. Her, Sam, Eddie, Nicole, me, and a few others had so much fun that night. Four years ago, some of us cried until we fell asleep. Two days ago, we laughed until we cried. Justine and Sam are married and even got a new car :) Jimmy has a house and a fiance. We are all doing so well.
Four years ago, I was longing for Adam to stay with me. As of many years ago, I never felt that way again. Four years ago, Eddie was away for training for the army. And just last night he was in my arms. Four years ago I was a new student at Palomar. As of a week ago, I am a new student at SDSU. Four years ago, we lost two wonderful people for reasons unknown. And four years later, we still have not forgotten them and what they taught us. The fact that I am talking about what happened 4 years ago proves that we never forget tragedies and hearts never mend the same. But there is hope that no matter what happens to you, you will laugh again, you will smile again, you will truly live freely again. But you will do it with the memory of the spirits of those you have lost. You will pick yourself up again, because you want to create new memories with the people still here....the people you love, and with the people who love you.
The next morning I was at school (Palomar) hanging out with Mark and some of his friends before my classes started. I was just in my usual slump of starting such a big school and getting over Adam dumping me and Eddie leaving for training. I got a text from Jimmy saying he and Mrs. Welch needed to talk to me. I was like "oh crap, what did they find out about me?" thinking I was in trouble. I asked him what it was and he said "It's not something I can say over the phone." I said Ok, fine then, later. Justine was on campus that day and came over, so calm and collected. I told her Jimmy was acting weird and she said "Oh, I know why." I thought, what?! Her and Jimmy never talk. What the heck is going on. And then she told me, plain and simple, "Scotty's dead."
At this point Mark and his friends were still with us and I told them Justine and I needed to be alone. I didn't even make the connection or ask any questions. I just started crying. I didn't even know Scott that well. I was just in shock wondering what happened. I finally calmed down enough to ask her what in the world she was talking about. And then she told me. "Remember that huge accident on 67 yesterday....?" And then she went on to tell me about what happened and Caryn still being alive, but with no brain activity (or something similar to that). I called Jimmy crying, asking him if this was what he was planning on telling me and he said yes. Justine looked exhausted and apparently had found out the night before. But she still made it to school, this being our second or third week in (and attendance being super important). I don't know how she did it. Scott was like her brother and here I was, breaking down in public.
Nobody knows what exactly happened that day, just that Caryn was driving and eventually did something to cause her to over-correct and swerve into traffic.
When she didn't make it through, it left everyone asking a ton of questions and all feeling absolutely heartbroken. I had to go to my last 3 hour class. I was supposed to work that night but I called in, obviously. We also had a yearbook signing at the charter school that night. On my way home, Hunter called me, crying as well, because his girlfriend at the time had just broken up with him after class. I thought, man what a shitty day this is.
I met up with Adam at the charter school after telling him what had happened. We were already broken up, but I needed someone to turn to. He reluctantly let me do so. He took me to Stars and got me some cigarettes. I don't smoke regularly, but he was of age and I needed to do something to try and calm down. People signed my yearbook, and it was like a mini reunion, but I had almost no fun. Jimmy looked out of it too. (We had the yearbook signing late because our yearbooks got to us months late, after we had already graduated). As the night went on, Adam kept getting calls from people (girls) and I knew he had some party to go to or some girl to fuck. I kept saying how I didn't want things to end and he kept saying that there are billions of people in the world, and everyone will find their someone. I was devastated when he left. A terrible attempt to comfort me going badly. I talked to Jimmy instead. I needed someone I could relate to. I ended up going to Jimmy's house and we fell asleep watching movies, on opposite sides of the living room. I just didn't want to be alone in my room, crying myself to sleep.
Fast Forward.
I have class tomorrow and am still recovering from a wild Sunday night. Justine and I (and others) had a BLAST Sunday night. There was tons of drinks and dancing at her and Sam's new house. Her, Sam, Eddie, Nicole, me, and a few others had so much fun that night. Four years ago, some of us cried until we fell asleep. Two days ago, we laughed until we cried. Justine and Sam are married and even got a new car :) Jimmy has a house and a fiance. We are all doing so well.
Four years ago, I was longing for Adam to stay with me. As of many years ago, I never felt that way again. Four years ago, Eddie was away for training for the army. And just last night he was in my arms. Four years ago I was a new student at Palomar. As of a week ago, I am a new student at SDSU. Four years ago, we lost two wonderful people for reasons unknown. And four years later, we still have not forgotten them and what they taught us. The fact that I am talking about what happened 4 years ago proves that we never forget tragedies and hearts never mend the same. But there is hope that no matter what happens to you, you will laugh again, you will smile again, you will truly live freely again. But you will do it with the memory of the spirits of those you have lost. You will pick yourself up again, because you want to create new memories with the people still here....the people you love, and with the people who love you.
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