bored.

i actually finished all my homeowork to have time to be bored tonight. but instead i went and did something stupid. i totally made a fool out of myself but i guess after a couple of days they won't remember, or at least i hope not. i shouldn't have said anything but whatever. at least i can laugh at myself. if you can't laugh at yourself and the world and you take yourself too seriously, you're fucked. scotty is driving me crazy, i just can't get him off of my mind. i can't help thinking it isn't real. i have him so sharp in my mind, i keep expecting to see him around the corner or have him walk up and say hi at some random place or to show up and see him at youth group or church or anything. i just really can't believe reality. but ever since high school ended i feel like i've been in a daze. so one more person is going to die, one more thing is going to go wrong, and i'll just add it to my shit list. like today. just one more thing gone bad. but whatever. nothing that beating the shit out of something can't fix :) ok i think i'm done with my emotastic cries.