numb.

i don't feel much. i dont know what i feel. tyler and i got on the topic of relationships when it hit me. i dont feel like doing it again. its the same process with a few different steps each time. nothing sparks or has sparked in me. i sat at the top of the hill and looked at the lights change, the cars going, where are all those people going? they all just keep going and going in routine, driving with no real direction, just flowing. i felt numb. this is it. this is life. it happens, it ends. this isnt some "why am i here?" posts or cry for help things or i feel depressed and sad thoughts. its just a really numb buzzing i guess. i just had weird things going through my head, but nothing to make me feel much. i mean i felt sad, i felt tears, but no spark. its just the same. i felt like i should post, not that i had anything to say. just something i felt i should write. i cant even put what little i am feeling into words. whatever. im going to bed.